Stop Whining

No One Makes You Do It By Michele Hickford

I'm sick and tired of people blaming their situations or mistakes on other people. Would you please stop with the whining? No one makes you do anything. Ok, I'll qualify that slightly. No one makes you do anything -- unless you're 10 years old, or there's a gun to your head. As an adult, every single decision you make, every action, every choice -- you made yourself. All by your lonesome. You may have had input. You may have had suggestions. You may have had guilt thrust upon you. There may have even been begging or moaning. But at the end of the day, you were the one who took the action. You always had the choice to not take it. No matter what the consequences, you always, ALWAYS have the option to do something or do nothing. But all too often, we forget that. We forget we have a role in our own lives! Granted, there are certain events it would appear we have no control over, such as natural disasters or sudden illness. My house may get blown away in a hurricane some day. I can't control that. But it was my choice to live in Florida. Just as it is my choice to pay for insurance, and shutters, and 4,000 batteries and 900 cans of tuna…but I digress. The point is: you are actually very powerful. You have the power to affect change in your life simply by the choices you make! I can't believe how blatantly obvious this sounds, but I also can't believe how many people cannot seem to grasp this simple concept! You, yes you, are the architect of your life. Every action you take in your life is not just an action, it's a choice. Every day, you are making thousands of little decisions. Hit the snooze button again. Donut. Large fries. Run the red light. But therein lies the problem. We don't see them as conscious choices. We do something, not recognizing the choice was always there to not do. Yes, one night you got a little reckless and had three too many Fuzzy Navels, but you always had the choice to stop at two. And then the heavy petting turned into much more, and now it's turning into a bouncing baby boy, but you always had the choice to keep your pants on. Because you didn't recognize you had the choice, or take a moment to consider the options, or more importantly, the consequences, you will now try to explain away your actions with another incredibly lame excuse: "What could I do? It just happened." My friends, things don't just happen by themselves. If that were really true, why wouldn't it happen in all aspects of our lives? I mean, you could wake up one morning in Bulgaria and have no idea how you got there. Just think, one moment you're talking to this guy in a Starbucks, and the next thing you know, you're wearing a fur hat and eating a kebab. Maybe, you wake up one morning and find your kitchen has been completely remodeled, or you can spontaneously speak fluent Japanese.

It doesn't just happen. Almost nothing in your life just happens by itself. You make it happen.

Of course there is a big difference between wanting it to happen, and allowing it to happen. In many cases, you don't necessarily want it, but you let it. After the fact, it doesn't really matter, because you still have to deal with it.

You didn't want to gain those 15 pounds, but you allowed it. You didn't want to get pregnant that night, but you did nothing to stop it. No matter what, it's still your responsibility for the event and the outcome. It's your responsibility. Nobody made you do it, except you.