I'm sitting here, "watching" TV and "working" on some school stuff because I've got some stuff "due" this week. All I can think of, seriously, all I can think about is how much I don't want to do this. I took a semester off (which included a bonus summer) to breathe and get away from it. Now, I'm....seriously, not even three weeks into the new semester and I just want to run.
General update that will give some perspective: I recently decided not to pursue a promotion at my current job. It's the job that, in my head, I've wanted for years. But, in the spirit of finding out what I want to do with my life, I decided that it wouldn't be of benefit to pursue that job. It would only further entrench me in the company, and lead further down the "more promotions, more money" path that has kept me in the corporate environment for years. No, I don't know what I want to do with my life. But I do know what I don't want to do.
So, I'm sitting here thinking....do I even bother with finishing this degree, when it makes me miserable to just feebly go through the motions? Or am I just reveling in the bliss of letting go of this other thing, and wanting to just kind of (and by kind of, I mean completely) let go of things that don't make me happy? Is this a lack of discipline or a concerted decision to no longer pursue a degree that I (may) never really use on the path toward what I love? And is this a decision best left for when I have that all figured out? You know, just in case...
Shit.
