I dreaded turning 30 this year. Quite a lot. More so than when I was a bit skittish about 25 - mainly because I thought I was supposed to freak at 25 just because my mom did and because my friends had started throwing around this new term called a "Quarter Life Crisis." Ask my ex-fiance how well I handled that...
I decided (responsibly, of course) not to spend the last week of my 20's sober. Looking back, apparently I decided not to spend the first week of my 30's sober, either. That part wasn't planned, but y'know, whatever. I am now a few weeks on the other side of milestone, and I have a couple of observations...
First, it's cool to freak out, just understand why. At 25 I thought it was what I was supposed to do. At 30 I realized I was, in fact, dreading getting older. I remembered all those "where do you want to be when you're 30" questions from high school and realized that my life hasn't turned out like a good little southern Christian girl's should. I have a momentary pang of....regret? Sadness? Heartburn? I realized I *wasn't* married and I *didn't* have children like I thought I was going to. But then, pretty much instantly, I realized that it was because those were not things that I actually wanted. At least not yet. Then I thought about the kick-ass life that has taken place instead of raising a family, and it's been great. Really. Fucking. Great. Seriously, troll on through my book of faces and see just how great the last five years alone have been.
Second, it's cool to be completely irresponsible, just don't live in that place. I did it for two weeks, and y'know, I'm pretty sure my liver hates me. Let this be a lesson kids - you can still party like you're 21, just know that it's going to hurt a lot more in the morning.
Third, I have some of the best fucking friends in the world. Seriously. I love the motherfuck out of you guys.
So, since I was (temporarily) freaking out, and with a little inspiration from a derby sister, I dug out my list of shit I wanted to do before I die. I realized that I hadn't looked at the list and had actually crossed off a few items in the interim. I also added some stuff, because you should always keep growing. So anyway, here's my list as it exists today...
1. Visit all 50
states
2. Go to Canada and Mexico
3. Visit Europe
4. OK, the REAL Europe
5. Visit Japan
6. Learn to ski or snowboard
7. Write a book
8. Go whitewater rafting
9. Earn a Bachelors Degree (edit - nah, make that a Masters)
10. Get a tattoo (edit - hahahaha, who knew....)
11. Learn a musical instrument (and retain that knowledge)
12. Do something that scares the shit out of me
13. IF you accomplish #12, do something else, keep going
14. Visit New England in the Fall
15. Spend summer on the West Coast
16. Find the good in every person
17. New Years Eve in NYC
18. Mardi Gras in New Orleans
19. Oktoberfest in Munich
20. Learn Italian
21. Re-learn and become somewhat fluent in Spanish
22. Become fucking famous (local famous is fine, too)
23. Become a mom
24. Road. Trip.
25. Help bring out the better in other people
26. Develop patience
27. Resign from your corporate job in a manner you would only see in the movies
28. Read more (edit - at least two per month - I'll cross this off when I've done it 2yrs straight)
29. Maintain a form of a journal
30. Fall in love
31. Stop being so vengeful
32. Fall in love with a sane person
33. Find a career that is personally fulfilling and rewarding
34. Attain a solid understanding of how the government works in my country.
35. Get to know my grandparents as people before they're gone (Edit - easily what I'm most thankful for crossing off this list)
36. Fall in love like a fucking adult (edit - this may happen, but I may never cross it off)
37. Make peace with (or without) my father
38. Be a better daughter
39. Fly a plane
40. Learn to communicate with people
So there it is. Make a list of your own. Push yourself. Experience shit. It's pretty fucking cool out there....
