The End of an Era

So, at some point you realize how things really are.

And it sucks.

I'm not sure what led to this realization, but it doesn't really matter. In fact, it's probably something I've known for months. There are friends you have for a lifetime, and friends you have for what seems to be a lifetime, but is really just a blink. People grow, people change. Inevitably, those who were the closest of friends at some point will become strangers. It's heartbreaking.

Self-indulgent thoughts lead one to wonder how deep the friendship really was, or if you did something wrong, or whatever. I'm learning more and more that those thoughts are pretty self-destructive, so I'm trying to ignore them. Maybe it's naive, but it's probably the only way to deal with things like this.

Maybe this is one stage of the whole experience. There's the first realization that something isn't the same anymore. Then you fight, oh my god, you desperately fight to hold on to whatever it is you thought was left. Then, you realize that it's not worth it anymore. And I think, that may be the worst part. I can't stand to give up, ever. When you finally realize that you can't fight anymore, you let go. It's probably healthy, and probably the part that hurts the most. But I guess sometimes it's just better that way. People just change, and sometimes they grow apart. It happens. No one's wrong, no one's right, it's just time and distance.

It still sucks.