It Begins

For the past few years, I've had a sometimes fleeting obsession with these women who I can only describe as my heroes. They are bad-ass, beautiful, and powerful.

Photo courtesy of acderby.com. Please don't hate me for using it :-)

They've also got bigger balls than most of the guys you will ever meet.

I've told myself a few times that it would be fun. And that it's probably something I would love from day one, and should really look into. But I never did. I wasn't sure I had time, especially now that I'm back in school and working in a role that requires me to actually work while at my place of employment. For one reason or another, it remained a pipe dream, or a hypothetical, "Yeah, that would be pretty awesome."

But, over the last couple of months, I've been reminded of my infatuation on several occasions. First, I met one of their stats guys at a party. I'm sure I've met him before, in the dozens of times we've gathered at my friend Sara's house. But I didn't know until this moment, that he was involved with them. We talked about the sport a little, and he said I should totally join up. I was pretty motivated in my four-beers bravado, and said I probably would. I didn't. But it was still in the back of my mind.
Earlier this month, through a serendipitous Facebook add, I saw that a girl I knew a few years ago was part of the Assassination City league. Not only was she a skater, she was on the all-star travel team. It was then that I saw how to contact recruiting, and really take steps to get involved.
I started seriously considering it, and got overwhelming support from the few people to whom I mentioned my crazy idea. Coincidentally, my friend at work knows one of the girls in the league. The same girl who had a write-up in D Magazine in October.
It seemed that there were too many things just kind of falling into place to motivate me and stoke my excitement.
So I emailed the recruiter. I went to a practice. And fell in love. At least, I hope I did.
Because I've ordered my skates and gear, and will hopefully be attending practices as "Fresh Meat" within a week or two. I even got along pretty well with the other girl who was there to "check it out." She also lives in Plano and we've already discussed carpooling to save on gas. It seems that all signs point to "do the damn thing."
I sincerely hope this is everything I want it to be: a way to stay active, to re-tap my inner bad ass, to build friendships with like-minded women, and give back to myself a hobby (obsession?) that is truly mine. It's been awhile since I've made an investment like that in myself.

Wish me luck. I'll keep you posted.

New Belgium Brewing Co.

I'm a little late in getting this posted, but since returning from Vacation-Con 2011, I've been incredibly busy getting my house and head back in order for the real world. So, I love this company. The memory of the tour itself has begun to fade, and some of the details will surely escape me. But I'm going to give it my best shot, and hopefully convince you how amazing this place really was, and is, I guess. I knew it would be awesome when we drove up, and the place looked just like a little ski lodge. Aesthetics are important, and these guys do it right. It's one thing to work at a brewery, but quite another to soak in the "we're not a corporate sweatshop" view every time you ride to work.

Yes. Ride to work. I didn't realize how deep into bike culture these guys were. It goes way beyond putting a picture of an old cruiser on the label of one of your beers. Bike parts and themes were everywhere, as you will see later. Bikes were parked everywhere out front. One of the first of the many awesome things we learned that day is that the company actually offers perks to employees who ride to work. Living the values guys, living the values.

We did realize that this little place had gotten so big that tours required a 24-hour advance booking. So when we arrived, we talked to the guy in charge of coordinating tours, and got on a standby list, hoping we could just jump on the first one of the day if not everyone showed up. While we patiently waited, we took the opportunity to ridiculous photo-opportunity it up.

Bike-decor-o-rama

We were lucky in that they still had the Christmas decorations up. Here are Scott and I, under the "Get a Room" mistletoe.

A kitchy shrine to the Patron Saint of Brewers, Saint Arnold.

And me doing my best to be Patron-Saint-y.

One of the major themes that emerged during our incredibly educational experience was environmental responsibility. This place not only says they believe and support it, but evidence is everywhere. Check out the trash bins outside. It's subtle, yet incredibly powerful.


Also impressive was their offering to those who don't drink, or had been designated as the responsible driving party of the group. We tried this, too. And it was pretty delicious. Apple flavored seltzer. Good job, New Belgium.

After waiting patiently in hopes that we would be able to tour the brewery and not walk away with only pictures of the outside, we were told that there were exactly three spots open on the first tour, and we were able to join up right as the tour started. In the first brew room, we got a little history on how the owner started off in his basement, making Abbey Ale, which was our first sample. We also got the story behind the naming of Fat Tire. Before starting on the magical journey toward making some of the best beer in the US, our story's hero traveled to Belgium to learn what he could about crafting Belgian beer (my personal favorite style). It was the 80's and mountain bikes had just begun their rise to popularity in the states, and this guy was addicted. So he took his bike with him, and used it as his mode of transportation throughout much of the countryside while visiting breweries there. And all over, he was asked the same thing: "Where did you get that bike with the fat tires?"

We then proceeded to the second brew room, which was breathtaking. We found out that it's so beautiful, that at least two employees have had their wedding receptions in this room. And you can see why. Huge copper tanks with mosaic tile around each one. Vaulted ceilings with bike-rim mobiles, and a full service bar in the back. It was like a ski lodge meets beer heaven. Who wouldn't want to affirm their love for another person, and beer, in a place like this?

It was here that we were given our second sample, Sunshine Wheat. This was one of the first American-made beers that I tried years ago, and actually liked. It was also my introduction into the heaven that is wheat beer, and we've been in love ever since.
We then headed out to the bottling building, which was pretty standard, except for the massive light fixture in the lobby, that spiraled with the stairs all the way to the second floor. These are not actually beer bottles, but individually blown replicas made just for this thing. I was thoroughly impressed, to say the least. It was during this section of the tour that I truly fell in love with what this company does, and stands for. This is where we got the low-down on what it's like to work for New Belgium. As a new employee, you get a key to the facility on your first day, because you are now an owner. Every week, each person gets an "allowance" of one twelve pack, to be picked up whenever, on the honor system. Miss a week? No problem, grab a case next time.
On your first anniversary, you are given a personalized cruiser bike, similar to that which is on the Fat Tire label. After five years, you are sent to Belgium, for a week-long bike tour of local breweries with the owners. Not only is the trip paid for by the company, but you are paid your 40-hour weekly salary the whole time. At ten years, a fruit tree of your choice is planted in orchard behind the buldings, with a plaque showing your name and stuff. But that's not even the best part. The best part is, that you also get a one-month paid sabbatical. That's a month off work, to do whatever you want, and get paid to do it. You can also add vacation days to the time off. So you can tack on two weeks to that, and have a six-week paid vacation.
To wrap up the tour, we headed upstairs in the main brew house, to get a taste of the tenth value of the company: "Have Fun". This was a metal speed slide, playground style. And trust me, this thing was not messing around. It. Was. Fast. And awesome. The last guy down brought his six month old along for the ride.
We were then taken to the hospitality room, where we could write postcards to whoever we wanted, and were promised they would be mailed for us. For free. Cortney pointed out that it felt much like Bolvangar, where the kids wrote letters to their parents, which were promptly just burned instead of sent. As of today, we have not received the one I sent to our house. I'm beginning to think she was right.
Nevertheless, we were given two more samples, and sent on our way.


We left, not only pleasantly intoxicated, but supremely educated on the ability of a not-so-small company's ability to get it right. For the community, the employees, and the earth. I'm compelled to include more of their beer in my regular rotation. Not because it's the best, because honestly, it's not. But because they truly believe in what they do, and more importantly, how they do it. It's inspiring, and anything I can do to support a company that actually lives the values they profess is a small step in the right direction.

And any place that gets Scott to make a face like this is worth it.

Snowbirds and Snowboards

Scott and I finally got around to taking a proper damn vacation.

We decided to head out to Colorado where we could see our friends Cortney and Bob. So we got to see some of the most beautiful scenery in the country and some of the most beautiful people we know. Double win.

After the longest drive I can remember ever attempting, we landed in Ft. Collins around 8pm on the first night. We were taken to one of the cutest sushi places I've ever been to, and ate ourselves stupid. At least I did. Something about delirium and hunger working together makes for a state of food-drunkenness the likes of which few have ever seen.

The next day, we went shopping for some proper snow gear for the upcoming snowboarding adventure. But first we grabbed lunch at the Rustic Oven. It may have been one of the best cups 'o tomato soup I've ever had. It was also our first photo-op moment.


Oh, and another chance for Tha Cote to take yet another picture of me with a drink in my hand. As is the custom.



We headed out to Breckenridge, with Bob at the wheel so no one died, since he was used to driving the treacherous mountain roads. Although, looking back, he was clearly drunk.



We found this little guy during a pitstop at a Sinclair station. I searched diligently for a "Please do not climb on the dinosaur" sign, and in its absence, we decided it was photo-op-tastic.



Apparently the best pictures were those of us attempting to climb on...Thanks guys.



We dropped our stuff at the hotel, then headed out to forage for dinner. We found ourselves at a place I would love on any day, but were skeptical as to the vegetarian options for our hosts. Thankfully, they had a rockin veggie burger and some kick-ass horsey sauce on the side. Thanks Murphy's. Your Irish Stew was pretty damn tasty, too. A rare moment was also captured on film. This is the preparation for a photo done by every person who has long hair.

And the proper photo that followed.


That evening, we hit up the awesome hot tub, and settled in for some (hopeful) rest before hitting the slopes in the morning. Cortney wasn't feeling her best the next morning, but was quite the trooper, insisting that it was going to be a good damn day, and it would be documented as such.

We booked it over to the rental place and got fitted for our boots and our boards.


But first. We pause to bring you this moose moment.


We squeezed into the car to begin the first true adventure of the day: Operation Where the Hell do we Park.



Gon-Do-La


Cortney and I both learned how to snowboard that day. It was great having another newbie to learn with, so we weren't alone in our we-don't-know-what-we're-doing-ness. We all got in a few good runs, and I'm stoked to go back, now somewhat knowing what I'm doing. It's rare that you learn to do something new like this at this point in your life...usually one gets on the sports and rec bandwagon of choice at a young age. It was great knowing that there's still so much more to do in the world.


We headed back home, stopping Denver to eat at this vegetarian place called Water Course. It was pretty freakin awesome, according to the veggie Reuben. I will say tho...the one you can get at The Old Monk is much better. At least there's one favorite thing I can still get back home.

Neutrality

A change in the weather, especially to Fall, has always done something strange to me. I love this time of year, truly. After the misery that can be August in Texas, even the hint of cooler weather is invigorating. It makes almost anything seem possible and reignites this desire to conquer the world. The idealism of that 17-year old who was finally free to do anything for the first time comes surging back to the surface. I feel like I should be embarking on this great adventure, or falling in love, or finally becoming what I’ve always thought I wanted to be. It’s amazing, and sobering. Because the reality is, I’m not 17. I’m already past 27, aren’t I? And what happened to those ideals, those goals, that fearless kid? I’m guessing she’s still around here somewhere.

What really happens is a time of re-evaluation, reflection….refraction. I know this pattern. It usually ends with a flipping upside down of everything in the name of sorting it out and the eventual cleanup. But this time…this time I can’t even begin to deal with the idea of that clean up. It’s too much. It’s amazing how big a mess you can make when you put your mind to it. Or maybe that’s what happens when you don’t put your mind to anything. Is the normal life simply that of one who has blindly followed the established formula? Add X, stir, simmer. Careful not to mix in Y, because then the whole thing becomes unstable. Chemistry is a cautionary tale. Too acidic, find something to neutralize the catalyst.

Maybe that’s the difference. The impulsive reaction is to be anything but neutral and boring. Be loved, be hated. Be anything but normal. Anything is better than being fucking neutral. Pull back for a minute. Survey. Stable job, long term relationship, roots put down, so much to lose. It seems like the perfect start to a perfect life. But perfection isn’t ideal. Perfection isn’t necessarily beautiful. It’s cold, sterile, formulaic. It only works if that was your goal. Maybe it’s really the perfect time to mix it all up again before it has a chance to settle or solidify.

So now what? Neither option is really ideal, but doing nothing changes nothing. A brief survey finds that I should be fucking grateful. And I am. Don’t let my introspection fool you into thinking that I don’t fully appreciate what’s right in front of me. Maybe that punk kid will always be in the back of my head, always fighting to usurp any form of establishment. She will always argue that growing up means I’ve given up. But maybe, just maybe, the secret is embracing her spirit, and not her methods.

“We can do a hell of a lot more damage in the system than outside of it.”

Because it has Always Entertained Me...

This little guy has never actually gotten me a boyfriend, nor am I technically in the market. But the absurdity and awesomeness of it all continues to amuse me. I'm a god damn genius.

Application to be my Boyfriend.

1. Do you have a high school education? If so, have you pursued any higher education?
2. Do you still live at home with your parents? If so, please explain why.
3. Is pot the most you ever experimented with as far as drugs go? Also, please give me your definition of what qualifies as a “drug.” Give examples if necessary.
4. Do you still realistically think that you’ll be a rock star someday?
5. Do you like dogs? Do you like cats?
6. Have you/would you watch either the entire Star Wars or Lord of the Rings trilogy in one sitting?
7. Could you name 5 Ozzy Osbourne songs before the Osbournes had a show on MTV? If so, did you stop wanting to after the show debuted?
8. Do you go to church? Is it on Swiss and Good Latimer?
9. Do you like hockey? If so, what’s your favorite team?
10. It’s Super Bowl Sunday. You are:
a. Throwing the best party ever! Beer, grilled meat, lots of people!
b. Attending a friend’s best party ever, because that’s where everyone is.
c. At home, watching the game with a few friends and some chips.
d. Doing anything but watching football.
11. How many girls have you slept with?
12. How many guys have you slept with?
13. Do you have an obsessive love for any one band? If so, please elaborate.
14. Do you hate country music?
15. Do you oppose racism but accept it as a viable source of humor?
16. Do you say “fuck” in front of your mom?
17. Can you cook? This means in a kitchen with real ingredients, not just on a grill.
18. You’re in love. She lives well over 500 miles away. The solution:
a. Pack up and move your ass. You care about her, not location.
b. Negotiate about who is moving.
c. She’s moving to you. If she cares enough, she will.
d. I don’t do long distance.
19. If you're going to the movies, do you get there in enough time to see the trailers?
20. Do you like Chinese food?
21. Do you have tattoos and/or piercings?
22. Your wife makes more money than you do:
a. This is a huge problem
b. Thank god, that means I don’t have to
c. Good for her, she deserves it.
d. She's probably sleeping with her boss.
23. Have you ever been arrested? If so, have you been convicted? Was it a felony? Did you go to jail?
24. Is beer an acceptable beverage for every occasion?
25. Essay: Explain, in 500 words or less, why Aerosmith and the Rolling Stones are or are not the exact same band.

And Now for Something Completely Different

I have neglected you all. I'm sorry. I'm also aware that there are more people who don't read my blogs than there are people who do. I'm fine with this. I probably over share, anyway.

After talking to a recently upgraded friend, I realized that it had been too long. I love to write, or at least I used to. So it's time to do that a little more. In transferring my older stuff to a brand new, shiny, for-blogs-only site, I realized how much I sounded like a child in my earlier writings. Too informal, way too much profanity to be taken seriously, but some real gems in there as well.

So here's the deal. I will write more. I will write like a real grown-up. And I'll write about things that more people might just give a damn about.

Now, my overall, it's-been-a-year-since-I've-talked-to-my-invisible-friend update:
We lost my grandmother last June. I can't believe it's already been a year, or how much I miss her.
I bought a house! We've been here for almost a year now, and despite some frustrations, it may be the best decision I've ever made.
I've had several amazing revelations about friendship, love, family, and the truth in all of these.
I am back in Grad School, but am taking the summer off.

There is immeasurable detail to go along with each of those points. But writing all down would be exhausting and self indulgent. Those that have been along for the ride know the good stuff anyway.

So I've decided to write more...as school allows, and will link at least this post to Facebook so that those of you who want to keep up, can do so.

Enjoy.

A Word on Gratitude

Fact: I’m not exactly an optimist.

Fact: I’m not really a pessimist.

.. ..

I bitch quite a bit about a small number of things. And I
realize that sometimes it gets stupid. Sometimes I go off about things just for
the sake of letting off some steam. However, in some of my limited down time
this week I’ve started thinking about things I hate, things I like to complain
about, and things that are pretty good all around me. I started to come around
to being a little more grateful for the good stuff and re-evaluate just how bad
the other stuff was.

It’s a good thing that process started early this past weekend,
because I’m fairly empathetic and tend to feed off of the moods of those around
me. For the last few days I’ve been surrounded by this strange brand of
negativity. An unwillingness to give people the benefit of the doubt. A
persistence to complain, repeatedly, about the behavior of others. Constant
negativity about the dynamic of an environment and about things that one is
powerless to change. It’s also been difficult to stay chill when others
over-react to every minor inconvenience or day to day happening in this thing
that is life.

I think what’s most difficult is that, for the first time in
months, I’m at a place where I want to take a positive look at things. I’m
tired of being frustrated and aggravated about things I can’t control. I’m
giving myself headaches at the least and god knows what else at the most. It’s
been a long time since I’ve been able to look at stupid things around me and
shrug. It’s kind of nice. And I’d like that it continue, but it’s hard when one
is surrounded by just the opposite. But that’s not really my point.

My point is that I’m kind of excited to be able to look at
things through a different filter. When I realized that some things don’t have
to suck so much, it was a great moment. A bit liberating, a bit refreshing, a
lot humbling. It’s true that there are a lot of things I hate about my job. A
lot. But it could be a lot worse. I could be working for minimum wage. I could
have no source of income. The reality is this: I get paid well for what I do.
And I get to travel (repeatedly) for free to places and events that people
dream of their entire lives. And I get paid to do that, too. As a result, I have
made friends all over the country, and sometimes it feels like coming home when
I go back to those places. That’s not a bad gig. My mother makes me crazy.
Crazy. But she’s still here, and I know I need to appreciate that, because it’s
not something I can get back once she’s gone. Same for my grandmother. I’ve got
this great relationship going that I never thought would go beyond a crush. I’ve
managed to stay mostly within my uber-restrictive, hospital-induced diet while
I’m out of town, and have only two days left on it. I’ve also managed to (as
far as I can tell) not gain weight on this dealer trip, and just bought my
first pair of size 8 jeans.

If one were to look at things objectively, I don’t have it
too bad right now. So, I’m taking good-thought donations in hopes that this
improved outlook will continue and that maybe I won’t sent myself into
heart-attack or aneurysm before I’m 30.