Stop Whining

No One Makes You Do It By Michele Hickford

I'm sick and tired of people blaming their situations or mistakes on other people. Would you please stop with the whining? No one makes you do anything. Ok, I'll qualify that slightly. No one makes you do anything -- unless you're 10 years old, or there's a gun to your head. As an adult, every single decision you make, every action, every choice -- you made yourself. All by your lonesome. You may have had input. You may have had suggestions. You may have had guilt thrust upon you. There may have even been begging or moaning. But at the end of the day, you were the one who took the action. You always had the choice to not take it. No matter what the consequences, you always, ALWAYS have the option to do something or do nothing. But all too often, we forget that. We forget we have a role in our own lives! Granted, there are certain events it would appear we have no control over, such as natural disasters or sudden illness. My house may get blown away in a hurricane some day. I can't control that. But it was my choice to live in Florida. Just as it is my choice to pay for insurance, and shutters, and 4,000 batteries and 900 cans of tuna…but I digress. The point is: you are actually very powerful. You have the power to affect change in your life simply by the choices you make! I can't believe how blatantly obvious this sounds, but I also can't believe how many people cannot seem to grasp this simple concept! You, yes you, are the architect of your life. Every action you take in your life is not just an action, it's a choice. Every day, you are making thousands of little decisions. Hit the snooze button again. Donut. Large fries. Run the red light. But therein lies the problem. We don't see them as conscious choices. We do something, not recognizing the choice was always there to not do. Yes, one night you got a little reckless and had three too many Fuzzy Navels, but you always had the choice to stop at two. And then the heavy petting turned into much more, and now it's turning into a bouncing baby boy, but you always had the choice to keep your pants on. Because you didn't recognize you had the choice, or take a moment to consider the options, or more importantly, the consequences, you will now try to explain away your actions with another incredibly lame excuse: "What could I do? It just happened." My friends, things don't just happen by themselves. If that were really true, why wouldn't it happen in all aspects of our lives? I mean, you could wake up one morning in Bulgaria and have no idea how you got there. Just think, one moment you're talking to this guy in a Starbucks, and the next thing you know, you're wearing a fur hat and eating a kebab. Maybe, you wake up one morning and find your kitchen has been completely remodeled, or you can spontaneously speak fluent Japanese.

It doesn't just happen. Almost nothing in your life just happens by itself. You make it happen.

Of course there is a big difference between wanting it to happen, and allowing it to happen. In many cases, you don't necessarily want it, but you let it. After the fact, it doesn't really matter, because you still have to deal with it.

You didn't want to gain those 15 pounds, but you allowed it. You didn't want to get pregnant that night, but you did nothing to stop it. No matter what, it's still your responsibility for the event and the outcome. It's your responsibility. Nobody made you do it, except you.

Apparently I'm a Sellout

So, today, amongst the HUGE amount of things I have to do at work (you know, get coffee, smoke, go to lunch, smoke, get a coke, smoke, check email, smoke, etc) my mind starts to drift. I look back to, oh I dunno, six-ish years ago. Early on in the college career, but fully enjoying what it is not to live at home and scrounge to buy ramen. I was so metal. Or at least, I thought I was. So punk, so rock, so....poor. I definitely gave less of a shit about a lot of things. Those were good times.

I was walking back from the printer and it dawned on me. Fuck. I've got on the now-fashionable ripped jeans with the tailored shirt and pointy high-heel boots. And a fucking belt. The tailored sport bike style leather jacket and even a damn purse sitting back at my desk. I think, god, what would I have thought about myself had I seen the future me back in the day? Tool. Sellout. Corporate string monkey.

Then Katrix says I look all girly today, and it's all over from there.

I give up.

Be on the lookout for some purple hair and bleach in the near future.

17-Year Old Drivers

So.

I'm heading home after a long day at work. I'm on the bike, all is going well. It's cool, but not cold, and the smell of fireplaces burning and winter in general is all around. Traffic is light, and people aren't being douchebags. I'm pretty damn happy. I get to the stop sign at where I turn to go home. Literally, half a block from my apartment.

I stop in the left turn lane. The cars to the right and left of me take their turns, cos they were there first. I rev the engine a bit (more out of habit than anything else), take a look around to make sure I'm good, the truck to my right takes off and goes, because it's our turn. Then, as I am feet away from clearing the intersection and going home to my beer and my boy, it happens.

A 17-year old moron and her friend in a piece of crap Yaris lay into me and my bike. I saw her at the stop sign. I was going, she was stopped. Then, for some reason, she starts moving while I'm attempting to turn left. All condolences to my right foot peg, brake pedal, and *sniff* front fender. She jumps out of the car, freakin hysterical. "Oh my god I'm so sorry I didn't see you I have no words for this except I'm sorry and oh my god my dad's gonna kill me and my insurance is gonna go up and......" that's where I stopped listening.

So, she calls her parents, I call the cops, and we wait. She's apologizing to everyone till mommy shows up, then she shuts up and changes her story. Fun. But, luckily, the kid had already gushed to a couple cops before mommy dearest and her money showed up.

So we'll see what the cops decide. I don't really care at this point. Why? Because there was more damage to her piece of shit car than by bike.

I guess I'm lucky. Actually, I'm really lucky. Usually when a motorcycle and a dumb teenager in a car meet up, the results aren't so good for the biker.

I'll be taking donations to repair Sasha.

My Relationship in a Nutshell

So, we're driving home from seeing the Tenacious D movie (goldmine, by the way) and Prince comes on the radio. The boy starts bobbing his head, and waxing philosophical about how it's a great song. I give him the crazy eye. The conversation is as follows:

Daniel: So you've seen Purple Rain right?

Me: Um, no

Daniel: Oh, well that explains a lot.

The End of an Era

So, at some point you realize how things really are.

And it sucks.

I'm not sure what led to this realization, but it doesn't really matter. In fact, it's probably something I've known for months. There are friends you have for a lifetime, and friends you have for what seems to be a lifetime, but is really just a blink. People grow, people change. Inevitably, those who were the closest of friends at some point will become strangers. It's heartbreaking.

Self-indulgent thoughts lead one to wonder how deep the friendship really was, or if you did something wrong, or whatever. I'm learning more and more that those thoughts are pretty self-destructive, so I'm trying to ignore them. Maybe it's naive, but it's probably the only way to deal with things like this.

Maybe this is one stage of the whole experience. There's the first realization that something isn't the same anymore. Then you fight, oh my god, you desperately fight to hold on to whatever it is you thought was left. Then, you realize that it's not worth it anymore. And I think, that may be the worst part. I can't stand to give up, ever. When you finally realize that you can't fight anymore, you let go. It's probably healthy, and probably the part that hurts the most. But I guess sometimes it's just better that way. People just change, and sometimes they grow apart. It happens. No one's wrong, no one's right, it's just time and distance.

It still sucks.

Turco Isn't So Bad

While I'm not the biggest fan of Marty Turco....he is slowly redeeming himself. He pulled off some crazy ninja shit tonight, and has been doing so all season. He may soon regain my respect, maybe.

Anyway, we're 8-1-0, one of the best starts to a season yet. Good job boys.

Toby Keith Makes me Want to Kick Puppies

So, one of the many things that brought me joy about last hockey season was the lack of the annoying Toby Keith hook line at the beginning of every.single.commerical.break. He's a Ford Truck Man...didja know?

Anyway, last season was this crappy Dodge thing with some chick. They didn't air it that much so it didn't make me want to hurt things.

But now.....fuck.

Toby is back. And this year, he's got to get up early and be on time. He's built Ford tough...didja know?

I l-o-v-e hockey, but the commercials are going to slowly drive me to madness.